[Aquanet] December critique

[Barry Lindley]

Hi, Pat-
Lorraine's comments are good.  You certainly have created interesting shapes
and handled the atmospheric perspective well.  The overall effect is a nice
warm tone, and you have done a good job simplifying the gorge structure.

I have only relatively minor comments.  The greens, especially the grasses,
seem tropical to me and don't fit the setting as well as they might.  Have
you considered desaturating them? Greens often have a lot of earth colors in
them in nature - burnt sienna in pines, raw sienna or yellow ochre in
grasses, etc.  You might also introduce some hints of greens in some of the
rock faces and crevices.
The distant river is a great color, but it is more saturated than the closer
river.
The central cliff gets more contrasty as it approaches the river.  I would
think that atmospheric perspective, created by the river spray as well as
just by the distance, would mitigate the contrast.  On the other hand, it is
a good strong edge to draw focus.  Some of the shadows in close up or near
middle distance rock crevices should be the darkest darks of the painting,
not right at the bottom edge, but up a little.
The river runs out of the lower right corner, so that the viewer slides
through the painting and right out of it.  This is mitigated somewhat by the
strong green horizontal shape, but it again carries you out the right side.
It is good to create re-entry and circulation with the composition.  That
could be done by taking the river out the bottom, roughly perpendicular to
the edge, but using shadows in crevices to carry back up.  Diminishing the
tropical quality of the greens and making the grass spottier or more
reflective of the arid rock might also help create the counter-movement.

All in all, I have picked more nits than I ought to - I shouldn't lead you
away from a Pat treatment, using your lovely, lyrical color.

Very good piece.

Barry
 
Barry D. Lindley
Paintings and Drawings
www.BarryLindleyArt.com